The release of BoneMan’s Daughters is upon us. The one question I am asked at nearly every interview is, “What inspired you to write this novel?” My answer is nearly always the same, I write to explore.
But BoneMan’s Daughters has a unique story behind it: The unnerving story of my own daughter.
Now, I would like to think that I am a good father. That I have raised each of my children in the way they should go, and given them freedom to make their own choices once they have enough of a sense of the world not to be crushed. But when my daughter began to fall for this one particular creep at the tender age of sixteen, I began to sweat.
No one else saw him as a creep, mind you. He was the kid at her birthday party who could break-dance and smile ever so charmingly. He seemed kind and thoughtful and all of the girls thought he was, for lack of a better word, hot.
I don’t know, maybe it was the way he kept looking at me with piercing eyes, or the way he yelled at me when I asked him not to date my daughter (go figure) but this kid scared me.
Fast forward two years. It was three days before Christmas. I’d learned that my daughter, now eighteen and in college, was madly in love with this boy. By this point I was certain that the kid was not only a punk, but truly dangerous. He’d yelled at me on numerous occasions. He’d told me I had no right to my daughter. He’d threatened my family.
But most of all, this kid, now twenty, had won the heart of my daughter and for that I began to hate him. My anger was directed at him, not my daughter, you see, because he was the monster and she was my precious baby and the fact that he’d found a way to seduce her was infuriating.
And that night… that night three days before Christmas, everything came apart, because that night my daughter informed the family that she was leaving our home to live with this monster. There are six of us in the family; five of us stood there at the door, crying, while the monster led the sixth out the front door. I can still see his face—he was carrying her suitcase and he was smiling.
But what could I do? My wife and I, and the other children had all begged her not to go with him. But, like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, she had given her heart and mind to the monster, unable to see his fangs.
LeeAnn and I tried to comfort our other children. Our youngest, only a small child at the time, was devastated and we couldn’t stop her weeping. For hours she cried and hiccupped and all we could do was hold back our own tears for her sake while we held her.
Then, like the twin dead, we walked to our own room, closed the door, fell on our bed, and sobbed. And we sobbed.
For the next two months our bedroom was the weeping place. The monster had our child and there was nothing I could do about it. I talked to the police, I called all of our friends, I dialed the FBI, and I would have called the President if I thought it might help. I begged our daughter to reconsider every time I talked to her, but it was her life and I could only pray that she came to herself before he destroyed her.
It stuck me then that I would do anything to save my daughter. Anything. And every time I thought about the monster my outrage at his seduction grew. In my mind he was BoneMan. My daughter was now BoneMan’s Daughter!
In the end all I could do was stare at my blank computer screen for hours, lost in desperation. I knew then that I had to discover the meaning behind this terrible love I had for my daughter through a fully fleshed story. I had to write a story that made absolute certain in the mind of every daughter how precious they are to the father.
My pain was intensely personal and I needed to understand that pain in the context of every father who loses a daughter, be it in Iraq or in Hollywood or in Colorado. Even more I had to grasp that same pain in the context of my own Father’s love for me. Is this how God loves each of his children?
I still remember the day the call came. It was my daughter. She was crying so hard she could hardly get the words out. She wanted to come, oh how badly she wanted to come home, she’d wanted to come home for weeks, could we please, please take her back? Heaven filled our home that day.
And then we learned the terrible truth. The monster had abused her. That devil had crushed her! She was too ashamed to call, too proud to come home, but she’d laid awake in bed many nights crying for home.
Four years have passed and now, two months before the day Rachelle is to marry a man we love, she will tell you that she was snatched out of hell itself that day. I cringe to think what might have happened. And I cringe to think what goes through the mind of a father who has lost his daughter forever.
Not since writing When Heaven Weeps following the death of my brother many years ago have I written such a personal story as BoneMan’s Daughters. I’ve dedicated it to Rachelle, but this love story is for you. For every daughter, every son, every father, every mother.
Read the novel. Then go to your daughter, your father, your son, your mother, hold them close, and cherish them forever.
*P.S. Read the latest poll on the home page and leave your comments. This one’s for all of us.
P.P.S. You can hear Ted tell this story during his interview on the Laura Ingraham Show. Click HERE to listen to it now.
Ted, I am linking this to my Facebook so it can spread faster. Knowing how much I love my son and daughter (my daughter is a fan of yours and is in your circle) I can hardly bear the thought of what you and your own family have been through. My book is on its way from CBD as I type, and I am eager to read it. Thank you for your openness. God Bless You!
Thank you for sharing this amazing story. What stands out the most to me is your daughter knowing that she could call her parents and be welcomed back home. As I learned with my Bethany, we raise our children in the faith and do the best we can but sometimes they still turn away, but if you keep talking to your children, all the time, and they learn from you that no matter what they do you will always love them and they can always come home again. It has been such a sad thing to see how parents turn their backs on their kids when they don’t do what they want and the kids are rejected. Our children need to know we love them, as our Heavenly Father loves us and his arms are always open to us to return, we need our children to believe our arms are always open to them. It may be hard to hear where they have been and what they have done, but what a blessing when the relationships are restored. My daughter is married now to a wonderful Christian man and walking in the faith. Praise God.
The name of the demonic entity that causes us to see only the good and not the bad, or only the bad and not the good about a person is the Mesmerizing Spirit. Most all Americans need to repent of giving place to this spirit. We sure see it in our media. A great teaching on how this spirit works, and how to come against it is in a CD set called Life, Dominion, and Honor by Arthur Burk of Plumbline mInistries.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
I have found that often our greatest growth comes through our greatest trials. The important (and difficult!) thing is to hold on to the truth of God’s love and constant presence during those trials. I am so thankful that you and your family held on–and now you can encourage and inspire others in a way you never have before.
I can’t wait to read this book. I know it will challenge and change me a little more, as all of your books have.
Ted,
What an amazing story. I have tears in my eyes now. I cant’ wait to read it when it comes. I am a huge fan of yours and I love every book that I have read. Keep up the good work and God Bless. I am also going to post this on my facebook page and my myspace page to get the word out better. God Bless you and your family.
Thank you for sharing, Ted. My heart breaks for the pain you and your family went through, but am so glad to see that our God of grace has stepped in to provide healing.
I am now so much more eager to read this book! Thank you for being wiling to share!
Hello!
I am in tears over what you wrote because I was once the daughter who left for the “monster”. Don’t get me wrong…my ex never beat me, but we were not right for each other and everyone around us knew it…but we were young and stupid. Within months of marriage, we left church and I turned my back on the God of my past…and this lasted for 5 years.
By the time I came out of that marriage, I had been left for another woman, I had full custody of our small children, a ravaging addiction and no self-esteem. I came home to my parents and while there, I rediscovered God and His love for me…and within a year met and married the man that God had for me all along. I am now 8 years into a marriage that isn’t perfect but is fully built, reliant and surrounded by the love, grace and mercy of a God who never gives up on his children. My husband is a Godly, loving man who treats me like a princess and loves our children with all his heart…and “our” children includes the children from my previous “life” that he adopted and cares for as his own.
My book is shipped and I cannot wait to crack it open…and yet, having now read your blog, I wonder how much of ME I will see in it all. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us, and thank you to Rachelle for being open to sharing this as well. The one thing a predator always tells his victim is “You can never tell.” But it is in the telling that we find we are not alone, and we are able to discover peace and hopefully move on into forgiveness. I can’t wait to read your book!
(This includes all your books). I’d just like to say, thank you so much for inspiring all of us with your incredible imagination and your sensational thrillers. I hope that one day I can inspire others with the same creativity in my books as you do with yours. =-) I just bought your two books the other day: Kiss, and Boneman’s Daughter, I”ll be reading them soon. Iv’e been meaning to ask anyone who might know but, I’ve been waiting and exciting to see the House movie from the book that you and Frank Peretti had written, but I haven’t been able to see the movie at all in theathers or at Block Buster, so, if you know anything about when that movie will be out to buy, please notify me. Thanks. Hope you and your family have an Amazing day. God Bless. =-)
O, I’m real smart. lol. Uh, I just found the House(DVD) on the main page of this offical site. SO, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Any chance its possible that you have txting? I’d like to text you about ideas I have for a book that I’d love to write. so, my number is: (509) 953-1532. Thank You. =-)
Hmmm. that proabaly wasn’t the best of ideas to do. but, I’d rather like to email you and chat from there. if its possbile of somehow deleting my number. I’d apprecaite it. Thanks.
Ted,
Even though we’ve never met personally (and probably never will), I consider you a friend. I haven’t read all your books yet, buy I’m working on it. I can’t wait to read Boneman’s Daughter. I have two sons who have been seduced away…not by a person, but by the world and all the empty promises it offers. The oldest of the two, coincidentally also loves your books. He has recently showed signs of “coming home” as well. I wept when I read your blog because I understand your pain — and the joy of a child returning. Your family’s story is encouraging!
Praise the God of grace, patience and forgiveness!!
Hi Ted,
Thanks for for sharing the back ground to this book with us. I made me cry for it very much hit home with me.
Our daughter is the BoneMan’s Daughter too in a way. She has been seduced and sucked in to the charms of the world and has turned her back on her faith and her family in Christ. We too wept many tears over her and the choices she was making, we have learnt to give her to the Lord, as He alone knows the plans He has for her.
Our daughter is still part of our lives even though she walks a different path than us. We pray that in the Lord’s time He will draw her back to Him.
I’m looking forward to reading this new book, although it usually takes a wee bit longer to get to us in New Zealand.
Thanks for listening (well reading this.
Blessings
Jolanda
I can’t believe your story as it is almost exactly like ours. Our story is very fresh as we are going through it right now. My daughter who is in this relationship is a huge fan of yours and I pray that her eyes are opened when she reads this book.
We are a family of 7 and our oldest just turned 19 and she is in a relationship with a man that I have never called Monster but I have called him the Snake as he came in and began seducing our daughter when she was 17 years old. She is now 19 and she is engaged to him and he has been terrible to our family. He has turned her heart from us and basically is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. We have been devastated and are in great need of a miracle and divine intervention that her eyes will be opened and that she will see the dangerous situation that she is in. It is almost like this young man has put a spell on her and that she is possessed by him. When we talk to her about truth or about factual things that are negative about her fiance her eyes glaze over as if she is totally tuned out and not there. Our whole family including her siblings are all extremely hurt and cry when talking about her. We have gone through almost a year of great pain but the last 6 months have been totally unbearable. Please pray for us. I am going to buy your book today. Thank you for being transparant and for writing your story. We enjoy all of your books and they have blessed us immensely.
Man bro, that was moving. I love all the books of yours that I’ve been able to read. I posted the link on my Facebook profile.
Ted, I am just reading this book now, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I have a Rachelle, and I am praying that she will make her way home to me again! God bless you! Andi
Ted,
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. I will share this….
WOW! thank you SO MUCH!
Amazing story and I can’t wait to read the book. Ted is an amazing author. My favorite in fact.
The Prodical Son, parables of Jesus, is what I was reminded of as I read your story. I feel for you and your family. How wonderful that things changed for you and yours.
Thank you, Ted for writing the reason for this novel. I am only an aspiring writer, but now I understand why God makes us writers. He really does have a redemptive message He can channel through us. Now I have a greater desire to finish my first novel (kind of an allegory of my own testimony) and the greatness of God’s power in our struggles against our past. Praise God we are forgiven by grace!
I loved reading Obsessed, House, and Kiss. I sent my sister (a Steven King fan) House. She told me she would have burned it if it would have ended any other way. Cannot wait to read more of your books–even to have time to read much of anything!
Thank you so much for being not only an amazingly talented writer, but for being real also!
Ted, I have walked in your shoes, not once but twice our sweet baby girl was seduced. They took her innocence, her self esteem, fear ruled in her heart. Yet true to His promise, when they are old they will not depart from their “raising”. She returned to us heart wounded and broken, but not destroyed. She brought with her 2 beautiful little girls, true blessings born out of pain. Yet inspite of it all, God has been faithful. She is the wisest, most compassionate, most Godly of all of my children. She is married to a good man who is growing in God, adopted her girls. They have a little girl of their own. Though she still struggles with her past as the girls get older, God continues to grant her grace and wisdom to tell them the truth and guide them down the path of righteousness. Thank you for opening your life to us. Hope grows when we see we are not alone in our struggles. I hope our story encourages others to HOLD FAST God WILL prevail.
Wow. That is really cool. Thank you for being such an inspiration.
dear ted,
Wow!….it’s amazing (no matter how often) how God delivers us from situations we put ourselves in constantly, I’m glad for u and ur family and as ur other stories continue to inspire the lives of many i’m sure this one will hit many deeply…i havent read the book though and i hope it will get here to Nigeria soon….theyre many of ur books that i wish were here already…..
Thank you so much for sharing your story, this is a subject (abuse) that needs more light. I wish I had realized as early as Rachelle did that HOME and FAMILY were where I would find the love and safety I was looking for. God managed to show me even after I was cut off from Him and anyone who’s love came from Him, and I found my way back home eventually. Thank you for reminding me of my fathers love (both of them). I very much look forward to reading Boneman’s Daughter!
Ted,
First of all, I want to say thank you for sharing this experience and to all the others who have written comments to share and say that none of us are alone. I had a similar experience. I was nearly trapped by man, but God helped me see what I needed to see before it was too late!! I thank Him for that everyday! I live everyday wondering what would have happened if I had not realized the truth before it was too late. I also thank Him for my family and depth of love they show me and that I would not have been able to get through what I did without them. It is amazing how God delivers us in our greatest hour of need! I have started Boneman’s Daughters and I love it!! Thank you for the amazing stories that you write and for the experiences you share with us all! May God bless us all.
I’m a new reader to the Circle trilogy, I’m on the second book(Red) and just can’t put it down. I went to my Christian Book store in attempt to get the Bone’s Man Daughter but they had no more copies. I read your story and I’m glad that your daughter returned home. I have a daughter also, I pray that I could show her what true love is and looks like(God’s Love) that she would be able to see the counterfeits that’s out there. May God continue to Bless you and your Family. LT07
i’m 17 and have read every one of your books, including the christmas promise and little drummer boy, and have most of them. while i’m not quite like Rachelle, i’m more like you, my own mother in the place of rachelle. She was once so in love with life, a crazy teenager when she had me. after my birth however, she placed the blame of everything that was messed up in her life on me, being her daughter. it is simply my prayer now that she will someday learn to love me as me daughter, as a mother should love her child. and this story will show how incredible a parent’s love should be for their children. thank you for this story you have shared. you are an incredible author. keep up the awesome work and God bless you.
I was the daughter in the terrible relationship. I did not call my Dad to rescue me. I tried to rescue myself. It did not go well, but when I was almost 600 miles away from him, I got the nerve to turn to my Dad. His love and acceptance of me despoite everything that had happened was overwhelming and I regretted not turning to him sooner. I now know he waould have rushed in to saved me, but at the time I did not feel worth saving. Somehow I always knew he would be there but did not allow myself to beleive it. Since then his love has helped me through it, and into the arms of a man who is wonderful and means the world to me. But I still sleep with the light on.
I have just finished The Boneman’s Daughter. This book was so compelling.I really appreciate this story and the truths behind it. I have been a fan of Ted Dekker’s since I read his first book was published and with each book I become even more sure that he is fulfilling his calling.
I am glad your daughter came home and that she is safe and knows she is loved by her father.
My God’s peace rule your heart for all your days.
TED,
I HAVE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE W/ A SERIES OF BOOKS SINCE I READ ELSIE DINSMORE AS A LITTLE GIRL. MY 14 YEAR OLD TURNED ME ON TO YOUR BOOKS. HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH HE READS THEM AGAIN & AGAIN. OFTEN WHEN I AM TRYING TO GET IN A COUPLE PAGES IN IN MY BUSY LIFE(NURSE,HOMESCHOOLING MOM,WIFE),HE TRIES TO COME AND SNAG MY BOOK!!!!!!! HE HAS BEEN TELLING ME THAT BONEMAN’S DAUGHTER IS COMING OUT FOR QUITE AWHILE SO I AM SURE WE WILL BE VYING FOR THIS ONE TOO. GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOUR MINISTRY TO CHRIST FOLLOWERS WHO NEED A GOOD READ.THANK YOU FOR OPENING UP YOUR HEART & THE HEART OF YOUR FAMILY TO HELP OTHERS.
Ted,
I see myself as the Duaghter though i am a dude. The Father, (GOD)i left for the monster called Sin.
This is so touching.I know how painful it is for my parents when i’m involved in something that is against their beliefs of what is right and wrong.this book has just reminded me to listen when my folks advice.will be looking forward to when a copy gets to Nigeria.
Thank you for writing books that portray evil as evil, truth as truth and the love of God as real, powerful and beyond our imagining. That type of honesty has been needed in Christian fiction for years. God has gifted you, thank you for sharing.
P.S.Before the Martyrs Song, I never really had a picture of Heaven that touched my heart. Thank you!
Thank you for the truth you shared. God bless you and yours, always.
Thank you for not with holding the real story behind BoneMans Daughter from us, even though it’s so personal, it made the book a MUST read. Your books have inspired me.
I shared the same experiance with my daughter. Like you I saught everyone coaches, teachers, pastors, church counceling etc. etc.. Everyone could tell me the “warning signs” of abuse. Everyone could tell me don’t let it slide. No One could tell me what to do to stop. There was finealy only one answer. Let God. Like yours my daughter is back, Only God could rescue her from the monster. I still don’t why God seems to rescue some and not others but, We can all find some reliefe in knowing before they rebelled or were born he sent his son to rescue our sons and daughters and he wants to save them all.
I am glad that you’ve shared the true story behind the book, but I’m even more glad that the situation in the end resolved itself! It’s scary scary stuff having to face monsters out there.
My wife was in an abusive relationship before she met me. And if you’ve ever met her, you’d think she was the strongest willed woman there ever was! So this problem really does need to be exposed in the light for what it is.
I’m a brand new daddy. I have a daughter who just turned 4 months old on the 19th, and the thought of predators out there terrifies me. I know this is a strange way to think, but I know they don’t know and care about the years you’ve spent building them up from infancy on. Countless diapers, burp-ups, first words (even if they are gibberish), giggles, etc … all so some idiot boy can get his jollies from them as a teenager or grown woman. God grant me strength to not hunt down every adolescent male in existence, and Heaven help anyone who comes to my door interested in my girl.
Thoughts like those scare me daily. Does it ever get easier for the parent?
My sister is in this same situation… and still currently is. im 12, and shes 19. right now my family thinks shes living with the “monster”. i desperately pray that her story is that of the Prodigal Son… or in this case, daughter. if you could, Ted, kep her in your prayers. her name is Sarah, and i would really appriciate it.
-MEGAN
This post made me cry. Thank you for sharing something so personal. It makes me wonder if my dad loves me with such a fierceness, and I’m working to believe that the Father does.
I’m currently in the the UK and have this book on reserve at the library… I sure hope it comes in before I leave in June. I am very, very excited.
My brother was speaking with a nonChristian co-worker about your books and asked me which one I should recommend. One of the things I love about your stories is that each comes from a different angle… My brother loves history and so Obsessed is his favorite. Mine is Blink (Seth is such a compelling character) and so I told him to give her my copy of it. Hope it goes over well. I learn/think more about Christianity while/after reading your books than any other, including nonfiction texts.
Thank you so much.
My wife and I are about to have our first child, a daughter, in less than 2 weeks. I read Boneman as soon as it came to my door, and tears for my daughter whom I do not yet know came from a place I didn’t know existed inside myself. Is this how I will love my daughter? Moving heaven, and earth? what would I sacrifice? What will I do to protect her, to show her that she is loved beyond measure? To think that this emotion and feeling now is but a fraction of how I will love my daughter and that this only scratches the surface of how the Father loves us – why do we all sink into our own stockholm syndrome everyday? In my mind I’d rather die than give in to the world’s allure, and yet my flesh is weak and I fall every day. Please dear Lord give me the strength to stand against the allure of the evil inherent in the world and the strength to show my daughter how to do the same. Thank you , Ted.
God has used your stories, your eyes of Elyon, to touch my life. I am but one, and I look forward to the day when I can share the stories of the Father with my own child.
I just finished reading the book and was struck with amazement of how God uses every little thing we are willing to give him. I know many will be inspired not only by the book but by your testimony. Keep on giving him your everything and he will show his wonders to us.
To God be the glory!
YO DEKKER, MY FRIENDS AND I MADE A VIDEO ABOUT YOUR BOOK, CHOSEN, FOR OUR SCHOOL NOVEL PROJECT. IT IS ON YOUTUBE, UNDER Chosen school project. CHECK IT OUT, IT’S AWESOME.YOU ROCK!
Ted,
I am not sure how else to get in contact with you…but I wanted to bring to your attention that the audio version of Boneman’s Daughter that I downloaded off iTunes has had a decent amount of swearing (when I say decent I am in chapter 4 and have already heard God’s name in vain or Damn about 4 or 5 times). The reason I am not sure if you know this is because I am following along in the book and the book does not include these swear words. I don’t know if the person reading the book took his own personal liberties, but I thought I would let you know.
The greatest fear my husband has is that he will not be there when our daughter Bethany really needs him. She moved out and has started her own life in a city about two miles from where we live. I talk to her every two days just to check in. Some days we talk for hours, others it is I am fine and alive I will call you back. I think it was the hardest thing we have ever had to do, we cried all the way home the night we left her in her own home the first time. College did not bother us for our son or daughter, but this move did. It crushed us. I have told my daughter I trust her completely, it is others I do not trust. So she has supplied me with friends numbers in the city she lives and have brought one home time to time to visit with us, to help ease our pain.
I am a parent that would lay down my life for my children and this world scares me to death.
Thank Yahweh for His great mercy!!! We have 2 daughters, and I am not looking forward to the teenage years. Now is the time to pray pray pray!
Oh my gosh. I’m so glad she got the courage to come back! After reading this, I’m always going to listen to my Daddy’s thoughts about the guys that I’m interested in!
BoneMan’s Daughters should come in the mail tomorrow, I’m definitely going to thinking about this story while I’m reading that one.
In my prayers!
~*~Emily~*~
Ted,
I will only commend you in your faith in God. I, like your own daughter did the same thing at age 19. I was only in the situation a couple of months but it seemed like years. And the way my moral and self esteem was dragged on the floor was unbearable. It is often not that we didn’t want to go back home if not that we were embarrased of failing like predicted by our families. I do have a son product of that relationship and I am glad to say that Jehova is his father. His earthly father may not want him but who needs a father that will fail when we’ve got the king of kings as our dad. Ted I wish your daughter a happy marriage and many blessings to you and your family.